Luxury Interior Design Sales, and the Role of Trust.

During my design career, each of the projects I worked on had a similar stress profile. Most of the design process was enjoyable and fulfilling, but presenting the fee proposal was a notable exception. Each time I met a client to discuss fees, I needed to dig deep and summon courage in order to coax the client over the hurdle of money and into the happy world of the design process beyond. 

The fact that I needed to be brave is telling. Bravery only exists in the face of fear - so what was it that I was frightened of? In my case I'd say it was: 

• Fear of rejection or failure - intertwined with my self-worth and value
• Impostor syndrome - doubting my value and feeling fraudulent for asking a high fee
• Money mindset issues - projecting my financial values on to my clients. 

Some of the most successful interior designers feel anxious when it comes to explaining and justifying their design fees; second-guessing their clients' reactions, and anticipating resistance, not because of something the client has said, but because of the designer's money mindset or difficult experiences with past clients.

Our tendency to obsess over how our fees will land emotionally with clients is not only unhelpful - it’s counterproductive.

It’s like learning to ski. Your instructor tells you not to focus on the pylon in the middle of the piste, because you’ll ski straight into it. Sales conversations work the same way: if you fixate on the parts of your proposal that make you nervous, you’ll unconsciously direct the client’s attention there too.

In my Hothouse membership, our subject for June is Luxury Sales for Interior Designers.

Adopting a luxury sales strategy involves shifting your attention away from money and instead concentrating on the quest that you and your high-net-worth client share: helping them to acquire the interior design solutions they most desire.

NOTE: In luxury sales, language is very important, and in the passage above I intentionally substitute 'selling' for 'helping to acquire', and emphasise the critical importance of realising desires.

The route to client presentations that feel more fulfilling, more centred on design excellence, is to think of yourself as an expert advisor, and to actively work on cultivating the trust that you inspire in your clients. 

At its core, success in selling to HNW clients centres on creating genuinely trusting relationships - the kind that do need time and shared experience to bring to maturity. 

Later this month I'll be delivering a pair of webinars on Luxury Selling for Interior Designers, covering both the psychological considerations and practical systems and processes designers should adopt to improve attraction and conversion of HNW clients.

Find out more at the end of this blog post!  

Cultivating Trust - From Creative to Consigliere

Most designers begin their careers as Creatives: talented, enthusiastic, ready to serve. But at the luxury level, especially with high-net-worth individuals (HNWI), this is not enough. Your role must evolve.

You must become a Consigliere.

In The Godfather, Tom Hagen is the family’s consigliere. He doesn’t dominate. He doesn’t flatter. He advises with calm authority. He’s in the room where the real decisions get made.

Your goal is to shift your relationship with the client from:

Adversarial: "I want to sell you as much as I can; you want to pay as little as possible."

To:

Collaborative: "We are on the same side. You desire something meaningful. I’m here to help you achieve it."

That’s the consigliere mindset. Now, I'd be lying if I said that wealthy clients won't challenge you on the level of 'investment' you recommend they make in their home, however, debating this with wealthy clients is usually much less emotional, they are more open to sound reasoning, including the value of intangible factors such as how fantastic their new home will make them feel.

Another benefit of the consigliere role is the protection it provides when the unexpected happens.

When something beyond your control goes wrong, because you and your client are on the same side, with aligned motivations and goals, you can be as upset as your client, you can be upset together. Being consigliere affords you some protection from the flying flak that hits every design project from time to time. 

This flipped way of thinking about sales helps flatten out the stress profile of design work, with reduced emotion surrounding fee discussions, and less blame when things don't go to plan. 

What is a Consigliere?

A consigliere is a trusted advisor: discreet, strategic, unshakable.

• They don’t pitch. They guide.

• They don’t defend their fee. They frame the investment.

• They don’t panic. They stay calm and in control.

This is what HNW clients value. And trust is the currency that earns you this position.

What Happens When You Are Trusted

In the book The Trusted Advisor (highly recommended reading, BTW) David Maister and his co-authors explain what happens once you earn a client’s deep trust:

• They seek your advice.

• They accept and act on your recommendations.

• They invite you into strategic conversations.

• They pay you without hesitation.

• They refer you to their most valued contacts.

• They lower the temperature in tense interactions.

• They give you the benefit of the doubt, and even forgive the odd mistake.

Trust, in other words, transforms everything.

The Consigliere Plays the Long Game

If mindset shift no.1 is:

Stop thinking of yourself as selling services, and start thinking of yourself as a trusted advisor.

Then mindset shift no.2 is:

Stop thinking about your relationship with a client as being for a single project, or for a short moment in time; think of it as long-term.

Shorter commercial relationships tend to be more transactional - and your wealthy client is allergic to transactional relationships. Whereas adopting a long-term approach helps create a relationship that is more emotional. 

When you think about client relationships as being for the long-haul, you'll naturally start to treat your HNW clients as they would wish to be treated.

It's a bit like the difference between dating, and getting married. You behave differently with someone you'll spend the rest of your life with. You invest more of yourself, you learn to pick your battles, you are loyal and supportive, there is give and take. You don't terminate or walk out because of a small misunderstanding. 

Trusted advisors aren’t there to chase trends or seek approval. They are there to guide with integrity, knowing that real authority is often recognised in hindsight.

You’re not just here to affirm. You’re here to future-proof.

Think Beyond the Job — Serve the Legacy

Stop thinking in terms of this week’s email, or the close-up irritations that strike all design projects at some point.

Start thinking in terms of lifetime value and generational trust.

What if your work with this client wasn’t just about this house, but about their next house, their office building, their children’s houses, their legacy?

When you think of client relationships in terms of cultivating long-term partnerships, you force yourself into the mindset needed to become a trusted designer that HNW clients want to commission. You become more resilient, more bought in, less reactive to small blips. Your client will view you as worth investing their time in, you become someone your client can imagine working with again. 

It’s Not About Selling. It’s About Standing Beside

HNW clients don’t want to be sold to, they don't want discounts or special offers. They want to feel safe.

• Emotionally.

• Financially.

• Reputationally.

They want to know that you can hold the whole picture, that you won’t collapse under pressure, that you’ll protect their interests and tell them the truth.

There is a quiet power in being a trusted advisor, you'll get to know some of the private details of your client's life, their personal preferences, their motivations - there is vulnerability there. They need to trust that their secrets are safe with you, that you are utterly loyal and discreet. 

When you embrace the consigliere role, you become more than a designer. You become part of the client’s trusted inner circle.

How to Start the Shift

This isn’t about changing who you are. It’s about changing your stance.

• Stop trying to make your fee palatable. What really matters is the quality and relevance of your service... naturally, this comes at a price.
• Stop anticipating objections. Lead with outcomes.

Above all:

• Don’t try to be liked. Be trusted. That’s how you become indispensable.

Join Me This Month – Two Webinars on Luxury Sales

If you’re ready to stop selling like a service provider and start advising like a strategic partner, I’d love you to join me for two live webinars.

Webinar One: The Psychology of Luxury Sales

Subtitle: How to Build Trust, Shift Power Dynamics, and Reframe Selling for HNW Clients

Date: Thursday 12th June at 10am (UK)

Duration: 60 minutes including Q&A

Objective: To introduce the mindset shift required to sell effectively to high-net-worth clients. This session explores how trust, emotional neutrality, and long-term thinking reshape the sales relationship, replacing fear-based, transactional habits with a calm, strategic advisory posture.

Whether you’re just beginning to work with HNW clients or ready to elevate your positioning, this is your invitation to stop selling harder - and start leading better.

Webinar Two: Selling Luxury by Design

Subtitle: Practical Sales Systems and Strategies for HNW Projects

Date: Wednesday 25th June at 1pm (UK)

Duration: 60 minutes including Q&A

Objective: To translate psychological insight into practical systems, tools, and client interactions. This session covers how to re-engineer enquiry handling, proposals, presentations, and service delivery to reflect the expectations and emotional needs of HNW clients.

As ever, the links to access these webinars are in my free membership group, which interior designers, architects, etc., can join here! 

See you in there!